By Mauris Othuke
How to avoid love come in between this sweet thing.
We generally do not strategize or plan to get into a friends with benefits relationship. If often results from one great taste leading to wanting to try it again and maybe again until it’s official we’re here just to keep tasting ourselves for as long as we like.
According to Stacey Laura from MyDomaine, a friends with benefits relationship is that which two people are physically intimate with one another, yet they’re not committed to each other in any way. And that’s where the problem generally comes in!
We get so carried away with the enjoyment and the sexual intimacy that we begin to feel we can’t do without them and then we start wanting to get more involved with them which acts as a hole to the ship.
So here are five ways to avoid losing the good sex because of your emotions which the other party doesn’t want;
1. You’re Trying To Cultivate A Shared Interest
After the first and second awesome sex, it’s not unusual to start looking for ways to spend more time together because you want to enjoy more of what you’ve already.
This sometimes makes us cancel plans or clear our schedules just to be around one another. Although that’s not a bad thing. You should only focus on having sex and leaving.
Because the moment you start looking for more ways to be around one another, the more you’d start getting more interested in one another outside sex.
So resist the urge to do things like; going to the gym, seeing the latest movie or taking a new course together. Because according to Christina Powell, a psychotherapist, one of the best ways to foster a connection is through a shared activity.
2. You’re Getting Them to Talk More And Be Open
After a sex marathon or episode, we rarely want to pack our bags to leave. So we sometimes, end up staying on the bed for hours or watching Netflix together.
So in order to avoid a boring atmosphere, you decide to encourage them to open up or keep asking them personal questions that will make them want to reveal more about themselves to you.
Although getting them to reveal more about themselves to you isn’t something, you need to be reminded that, opening up to one another is what people who are in a romantic relationship do. And the more you open up, the more you find similarities which will, therefore, trigger liking one another more.
So, therefore, in other to avoid talking about things that will get you to like one another more, after sex, pack your bags and leave.
3. You’re Doing Things Because ….
In other words, you’re sacrificing yourself or happiness even though they might not mean much to you for theirs.
As little as buying things they want to buying things they like over buying what you really want, should be stopped because when you start buying the things which they want over the things which you want, it would make you start feeling invested in them, and no one wants to lose anything which they invest in.
So avoid buying the KFC over the McDonalds that you really want because she likes KFC, and you want to make them smile.
4. You’re Encouraging Going Out Together
According to Elite Daily, one out of the twelve things that makes people fall in love is going out together.
Going out together creates more room for you to see yourself, touch yourselves and enjoy one another’s presence outside the bed.
This is against the terms and conditions of friends with benefits relationships. Going out together is what only couples do to grow their relationship.
Soon enough, when you continue going out together for a while, you won’t want to go out without having them around you because “you’re used to it”. So if they bring it up, discourage it.
5. You’re Paying Attention to The Little Things
Little things always add up. They help improve a relationship and the value one person has for the other.
- Doing the dishes because she loves a clean kitchen.
- Helping her clean her sneakers because she’s lazy to do them.
All adds up, doing these things will make you feel more connected to her. Psychologically, we unconsciously want to be around people who we can help in one way or another.
So these are the 5 things which you should avoid if you’re afraid of heartbreak or not ready to fall in love.
The key thing to remember here is, after the business has been conducted don’t spend much more time together, it’s unhealthy.